Drunk
by xrightwhereitbelongs
Summary: Chas gets VERY drunk! This is Chastine you HAVE been warned.
1. Chapter 1

**Drunk**

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Constantine or anything else for that matter!  
The song's are: Trapt - headstrong, Muse - Sing for absolution, Muse - Escape. I don't own them either. sob  
**Rating:** PG-13  
**Summary: **Chas gets VERY drunk! This is Chastine you HAVE been warned.

It was pretty late... Or really early depending on whether you've slept or not. In Chas' case it was really late.  
Four AM and he was just returning from a wild night out with... Well, he couldn't quite remember who with!  
He was stumbling up the stairs, swaying back and forth, gripping onto anything to stop himself tumbling back down to the bottom.  
He had been drinking of course.  
Chas Kramer had been drinking for the... Second time in his life.  
He always seemed to be a responsible guy. Following orders, being helpful... Well not tonight.  
Tonight was a night to let everything go, to 'live a little' and that's exactly what he had done.  
He could still taste the tequila in his mouth.  
It wasn't just tequila though it was a wide range of alcoholic beverages.  
Yep Chas Kramer had mixed his drinks and now he was pissed out of his mind.  
Vodka, whiskey, rum, tequila, beer... Along with a few other bits and bobs.  
He hadn't refused one single drink the entire evening!  
Considering he didn't drink all that often (or at all) he could be considered as a bit of a 'light weight' so to speak. It hadn't taken much to get him singing and dancing on the tables, slurring his words, talking to everyone and everything (including doors, plants, tables, hatstands...) And generally making an ass of himself.  
He stumbled a little breaking into a fit of uncontrollable laughter.  
"Back off we'll take you on, Headstrong to take on anyone, I know that you are wrong, Headstrong we're Headstrong, Back off We'll take you on, Headstrong to take on anyone, I know that you are wrong, This is not where you belong!" Chas screeched at the top of his lungs.  
It didn't really sound like singing, more like a thousand sharp nails scratching down a chalk board.  
"SHUT THE FUCK UP OUT THERE!" A voice screamed from one of the apartments he was passing.  
"I love you too man!" Chas screamed back tripping again.  
"Sing for absolution, I will be singing!" Chas began on another song.  
He stumbled a little at the top of the stairs falling clumsily on his backside.  
"OOPS!" He giggled giddily.  
"Shhhh!" He continued putting a finger to his lips.  
He rose to his feet clutching a wall for support.  
"You would say anythinggggg, you would try anythinggggg, to escape your meaningless, and your insignificance, you're uncontrollable, we are unlovable, I don't want you to think that I can't, I never would I never could, again! WHYYY can't you just bla bla"  
"YOU FUCKING DICK HEAD PISS OFF AND DIE!" Someone else screamed.  
"Yeah whatever you stupid smelly moo! I don't owe you nothin' you hear me! Nothin' I'm great! I'm so bloody awesome you're just jealous! I'm AWESOMMMMMMMEE!" Chas replied slurring badly.  
He had made it to the door.  
It took him a while to get a grip on the handle and even then he couldn't manage to turn it.  
"Oh snaps"  
He finally got it stumbling clumsily into the dim room.  
The sun hadn't risen yet so there wasn't much light making it all the harder for a drunken teenager to navigate his way around the apartment "Wait a minute!" Chas said stopping abruptly.  
"This ain't my apartment!" He giggled.  
He stumbled forward several steps taking a long look around the room he was in.  
Other that it being dark and for some reason hazy... His eyes just couldn't focus! No matter how hard he stared he couldn't make ANYTHING out!  
"Owell"  
He felt around finding a chair.  
He was exhausted. It had seemed like a lifetime ago since he had slept.

He had got up extra early yesterday coz of that asshole Constantine... It was five... No maybe six in the morning by the time he got there, bleary eyed.  
"What took you so long kid"  
"I was sleeping John! What do you think I sit outside your door 24/7 waiting for you to call me"  
"Yeah I was beginning to think so." The exorcist answered with a snigger.  
"Yeah whatever John just hurry up so I can go home and sleep"  
But he hadn't gone home and slept.  
Instead he went back to John's apartment read a couple of books and got into an incredibly pointless argument.  
"John, John c'mon John... are you even listening to me?" Chas whined.  
"No"  
"JOHN! C'mon I listen when you talk"  
"No, you don't Chas"  
"Yeah I god damn do!" Of course he listened when John talked.  
He worshiped the ground the goddamn exorcist walked on! John was his idol... He was more than that! John Constantine was so much more but he was to blind to see what was right in front of his bloody face.  
"You have no idea what I do John! You don't even know who I am! A year and a half and you don't know me any more than the day you 'saved me!' Maybe I didn't want to be saved John, did you ever think about that huh? Did you ever think about what 'I' wanted, huh John? No, coz you're too wrapped up in your own sad pathetic life that you never take the time to open your fucking eyes! I listen to EVERY-SINGLE-WORD-YOU-SAY! John I follow you around hoping that one day you'll see me! REALLY see me! See me for who I am! See that I'm a human being who has feelings John! A human being who has feelings for you!" He screamed in a mad rant.  
By the look on John's face he could tell he had said something VERY VERY stupid.  
"You have feelings for me?" John asked his voice barley a whisper.  
Chas looked away.  
Shit.  
He had just revealed the biggest secret of his life. The ONE and ONLY thing he should never have told John Constantine.  
"CHAS! Look at me! You can't just say something like that and expect me to ignore you!" John said raising his voice to a dull roar.  
"What! Wow I can't believe it John I finally found something to make you LISTEN"  
"This isn't a game Chas! Do you wanna fuck everything up over a goddamn school boy crush? Do you even know what it means Chas? Do you know what it's like"  
"What the fuck are you talking about John! I said I had FEELINGS for you! Not that I fancied you! You know your problem John, your head's too damn big there isn't enough space for anyone around you"  
"You have feelings for me? What feelings Chas? Huh? You want my attention you have it, explain your feelings to me"  
"NO! I don't have to explain anything to you! And who said it was a schoolboy crush John! Who said that? You think I'm incapable of feeling love coz I'm 19? Is that it? Well, John-bad ass-Constantine, sorry to burst your bubble but I AM capable of love UNLIKE YOU!" Chas screamed in a deafening roar.  
John laughed. John fucking Constantine laughed right in his face.  
"LOVE Chas LOVE not lust. What is it? Are you afraid you're gay? Is that it? Are you doing this to piss me off, to get your own back"  
"THIS ISN'T ABOUT YOU JOHN! Not everything is about you"  
"Really? That's news to me"  
"Fuck you! Fuck you and fuck your fucking bigheaded fucking life!" Chas screamed leaving the apartment in a frenzy.  
He slammed the front door with incredible force causing the floor to vibrate.  
That's when he went to the party, got drunk and was now here... In this apartment... John's apartment.

"Yeah whatever." Chas said to himself collapsing into the chair.  
"OWWWWWW!" He screamed jumping 10 feet into the air.  
"Whatthefuckisthatandwhythehellisitonthegoddamnfuckingchair!" He screamed at the chair.  
Gingerly he picked it up, feeling it a little.  
"Oh my fucking god it's John's head! A demon's decapitated him and now I'm holding his head!" Chas cried holding the item at arm's length.  
"Chas?" John asked wide awake holding his holy shotgun in one hand, a bottle of holy water in the other.  
"JOHN!" Chas screamed running over to the man and pulling him into a bone breaking hug.  
"You have a head John! Look you have a head!" He muffled into John's neck.  
"Of course I have a fucking head! You spent about an hour telling me I had a BIG head if you remem... Chas you stink! Have you been... Drinking?" John asked.  
"JOHN!" The boy wailed snuggling further into the exorcists bare chest.  
"CHAS WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU!" John screamed pushing the boy away, which required quite a lot of energy considering Chas has physically ATTACHED himself onto him.  
Chas whimpered a little holding the item he still had clutched in his hands, up to John's face.  
"It's your head John! You didn't tell me you had two heads!" "I don't. That's a pineapple Chas." John said shortly.  
"Oh." Chas said placing it back onto the chair.  
"Why d'you got a pineapple on the chair John?" Chas asked in confusion his eyes crossing and uncrossing as he tried to think.  
John choked back a laugh. The kid was well and truly plastered.  
"You are gonna be feeling this for day's kid." John said leading him into the bedroom.  
"Feeling what John, the pineapple"  
"No kid a hangover"  
"Aww John I ain't drunk I'm as sober as the pineapple"  
"Whatever you say kid." John replied pushing him onto the bed.  
"Goodnight." He said after placing the blankets over the boys delicate form.  
"John"  
"Yeah?" He asked stopping at the sound of his name.  
"I'm glad you still have a head." He mumbled before dozing off into a deep sleep.  
"Me too kid. Me too." John replied a hint of a smile playing on his lips. He left the room shaking his head.  
Maybe he did love the kid after all.


	2. the morning after the pineapple before

**The morning after the pineapple before**

Chas stirred slightly not really understanding why his head felt as though it had been shut in his cab door several MILLION times.  
"Ouch!" He gasped rolling over slightly.  
Wait a minute… This bed was way too soft to be his!  
He reached over letting his hand fall onto something…  
"Oh my god!" Chas screamed jumping from the bed as fast as he could.  
"It's John's head! John's lost his head! Oh god John, you had such a nice head"  
"CHAS!" John screamed from the other room causing the boy to yelp in pain.  
His head felt ready to explode… "Not John's head then?" He asked the PILLOW on the bed.  
A pillow? He really was losing it.  
He padded slowly into the living room coughing as the thick cloud of smoke hit him.  
"Awww god John what the HELL happened to me?" He asked wincing at the pain his own voice brought him.  
John smirked shaking his head at the curly haired boy.  
He looked incredible! His hair was a tangled mess… basically he looked like he's been dragged through hell and back and John was sure he felt exactly like that.  
"Did you have fun last night kid"  
"Jown! It's not funny! It feels like someone hit me on the head with a goddamn truck"  
"Your first hangover kid how are you liking it"  
"Aww Jown you're so mean to me! I can't remember ANYTHING about anything! Who the hell am I"  
John practically choked on his whiskey.  
"Well, Chas you're the guy who listens to every-single-word I say." John replied taking great joy from the look on Chas's face.  
"I didn't!" Chas said shaking his head.  
"C'mon Chas you were perfectly sober at this point"  
"Was not"  
"Were too"  
"WAS NOT!" Chas said louder wincing again as his head exploded in pain.  
"Well, Chas if you think THAT'S bad"  
"DON'T! C'mon John please just don't…" Chas said very seriously.  
He'd made a fool of himself… again. "What you don't want me to tell the human being who has feelings for me what an idiot he is when he's drunk"  
"JOHN! C'mon cut it out"  
"I have a head Chas! Look can you see my head? A demon didn't decapitate me after all"  
Chas blushed a deep shade of red. So THAT'S why he thought the pillow was John's head! God he really was an idiot when he was drunk.  
"Yeah rub it in John"  
"So how is the morning after the pineapple before"  
The memories came flooding back causing Chas to cringe further.  
"John why the hell did you have a pineapple on the chair anyway! Where you trying to kill me? Huh! Huh! Huh? You're evil! EVIL I bet the pineapple possessed you and now you're an evil pineapple"  
This time John DID choke on his whiskey sending the amber liquid flying from his mouth.  
"Possessed by a pineapple? Well, I've gotta say that's a new one, I've been an exorcist for 16 years and I've never come across a pineapple possession." John mocked.  
"Yeah but that doesn't explain why you had the pineapple John! Why did you have a pineapple on the chair?" Chas asked smirking slightly.  
"It's a long story kid and I don't intend on reliving the trauma of last night"  
"Yeah I'm sorry 'bout that John I don't know why I came here"  
"Maybe it's because you're capable of LOVE!" John said rubbing it in a little further.  
This time Chas looked away. John had no idea what he felt for him… he just thought this was one big joke!  
Catching sight of Chas's watering eyes John knew he had gone too far. The kid was serious about his feeling.  
"So Chas are we gonna talk about this or are you gonna go get drunk and talk about possessed pineapples"  
"I don't wanna talk John I want pain relief and some bloody sleep"  
John wandered off into the bathroom leaving Chas alone with his incredibly painful hangover and his thoughts.  
He was going to be forced to reveal his feelings for John all over again…  
"Here" John said throwing a bottle of pain killers in his direction.  
Unfortunately Chas didn't notice until they had hit him smack bam in the middle of his forehead.  
"Fuck John! You just HAD to hit me on the bloody head!" Chas screeched clutching his head in pain.  
John practically howled with laughter. Chas with a hangover was definitely something he didn't want to miss, EVER! "Yeah haha John very funny!" Chas said picking the bottle up and taking two pills as quickly as he could.  
"Sorry Chas I just couldn't resist myself"  
"Yeah whatever man." Chas said making his way into the bathroom.  
He felt like he was gonna puke, even though he hadn't eaten in what felt like an eternity.  
"So…" John called from the other room.  
"You gonna tell me what happened yesterday"  
"John god I got drunk it's not like you don't do it!" Chas called splashing water on his face.  
"I know you were drunk you moron! I mean before that when you told me…" The previous humour of the situation was gone and he was now deadly serious.  
Chas stopped dead in the bathroom his headache coming back full force.  
"John c'mon I don't wanna do this now"  
"CHAS! I don't give a fuck if you want to do it or not, I NEED to know." John demanded loosing his patience.  
"Need to know what?" Chas replied slightly taken aback by John's outburst.  
"Need to know if you meant what you said… I need to know if you're in love with me"  
Chas practically collapsed however he braced himself on the sink. He couldn't believe they were doing this! God John was shouting at him while he was in the bathroom!  
"Yes." He squeaked almost inaudible but John heard.  
"Why?" He asked is confusion.  
This got Chas's attention forcing him to make his way into the living room to face his fear.  
"Because of the way you walk… The way you smoke your goddamn cigarettes, because when you smile it's the most amazing thing I have ever seen…" Chas said trailing off.  
John's gaze was fixed on him not really sure what to think. It was a compliment really, Chas was great he was young and he was really quite sweet sure John had thought about him before now but he never would have acted on it.  
"Okay." Was all he managed to say his gaze softening somewhat.  
He let himself smile shaking his head a little.  
"Chas kid you have to get drunk more often."


End file.
